"Up, please"

So, for his 2d birthday my friend's youngest son has learned the word "please," which, at the age of 30, I have still not mastered. Interestingly, the favorite past-time in that household, for both the 2 yo and the 5 yo, is to be carried around on my shoulders, and thrown into the air, and thrown onto the couch. The 5 year old is pretty vocal and descriptive in his demands to be "thrown in the air," "thrown up high," and "thrown at the couch." The 2 yo just says "Up." When I say "No up." he says "Up, please." If I say no again, he whines a lot.

I like to do a toothy chimpanzee smile with my lips pulled back in a sort of grimace. The 2 yo and I can do that for hours. I am such a bad influence.

PCG=crazy-ass bitch

So, PCG called me tonight. Out of the blue. Just wanted to see how I was doing. I played it off for a while, and then said, "So why did you decide to call me after not talking to me for more than two months?" Response: "It's been longer than that, I think." So I asked "So why did you not talk to me for more than two months?" Response: "I think I was mad at you." So I'm like "Why?" Response: "You were being abrasive." [NO FUCKING SHIT!!! I'M ABRASIVE TO EEEEEEVVVVVEEEEERRRRRYYYYYOOOOOONNNNEEEEE, ALL THE TIME, PERIOD.] "So why did you decide to call me now. Response: [I'm a bit fuzzy in my recollection on this one, because I was setting up my new laser printer so I can print things for my interview tomorrow. Something like:] "You told me I was a train wreck, and I'm not a train wreck anymore." This sets up the discussion of the two guys she's dumped since then for later. So I got my shot in: "So you're telling me I was right? ...don't answer that, la la la la I'm not listening to your answer... it would hurt my Batman credentials (I call myself Batman with her, so as to hide my secret secret identity, and because she wouldn't understand the reference regardless of how many times I explained it.).

MOTS: CRAZY-ASS BITCH

So we proceded to have a 45 minute conversation like nothing happened.

I did tell her I won't call her anymore, she has to call me from now on.