Bad parenting... you can't take it back.

I have a friend with two little kids. One is 2.5, the other is 5.5. I lived with this family for 2 years. I'm sort of the third parent in with these kids. The elder is in that rambunctious 5 y/o stage, and he runs around and yells, and hits, and throws things, and doesn't listen - all things you can expect from that age. I'm usually extremely patient with children and animals, but this kid and I have a running disconnect regarding guns, violence, and not listening... he doesn't listen, to anyone, his parents allow him to watch war movies (think, band of brothers as a bedtime story), and he hits people - me, his dad, his brother, his mother, his friends. I don't like guns, and I believe that, while violence can be then answer, the resort to it creates other questions. I don't like not listening because, unlike his parents, I don't warn unless the risk is clear and significant - he can hurt himself to learn, but he can't be allowed to permanently screw himself over.

Today I lost my patience with this kid for the first time ever. He had been hitting me periodically all day, each time being told not to hit. I was filling a bottle with water at the refrigerator, and he ran up and hit me on the arms. I dropped the full bottle, and yelled something to the effect of "[insert name here] you stupid...!" I caught myself, then yelled at him for hitting, then started to clean things up. I immediately felt bad. He felt bad, at least after his parents yelled at him, and he apologized. I told him that sorry doesn't help all the time, and he needs to be careful because he is big enough to do damage now. So he apologized and I apologized.

I still feel bad. Don't lose your patience with kids. You can't take it back.