Where to start...?
Since everyone else is having their little crises right now:
A few weeks ago I had a life-altering event. So for three weeks after that I didn't do anything particularly strange, but felt better about a few things. Then, about 2 or 3 days before my birthday the woman featured prominently in that post called to say "happy birthday." First, I have a really easy to remember birthday, and I knew she knew when my birthday was, and this wasn't it. So I figured this was odd. Then, she was sort of distant and evasive, which would have been understandable after one conversation in 5 years, but she didn't hang up -- despite repeatedly indicating she was about to. So I did what any curious person would do... I pried. Not all at once, but slowly. Stick-and-move style. After a while she just sort of blurted out, "I had some tests and I may have cancer, I have to get biopsied next week."
Wow. remember all that stuff from that other post? I wavered on a few things. So that conversation lasted about 2.5 hours. The one the next day was more than an hour. As was the one the day after that. And the day after that. Then a few days after that, and about every two or three days there's been another fairly long conversation. And email.
You may not have noticed, but I'm not generally considered the most sensitive, compassionate guy. I could not imagine, and can barely believe, first that -I- got the phone call in this situation, and second, that I seem to have fielded it pretty well. I must have said "It will be ok," and "You'll be fine," and "You'll work it out" 300 times each. Beyond that, I was, and still am (though perhaps less so) comfortable with my conclusions from before. I feel a little bad about the "finding out she's a mess" bit, particularly because, at least for the first few days of crying, she was. I'm a little confused by the mixed messages; not that I've got expectations, but how much do you really want to hear about someone's sex life, relationships, relationship with ex-boyfriends, dating, co-workers, neighborhood, job, cats, mother, brother, etc. If I wanted all that I'd hang out at people's blogs. Even so, and despite myself, I care, so I'll quit whining and continue to take up the odd role of "shoulder to cry on."
... and I'm expecting a phone call...
A few weeks ago I had a life-altering event. So for three weeks after that I didn't do anything particularly strange, but felt better about a few things. Then, about 2 or 3 days before my birthday the woman featured prominently in that post called to say "happy birthday." First, I have a really easy to remember birthday, and I knew she knew when my birthday was, and this wasn't it. So I figured this was odd. Then, she was sort of distant and evasive, which would have been understandable after one conversation in 5 years, but she didn't hang up -- despite repeatedly indicating she was about to. So I did what any curious person would do... I pried. Not all at once, but slowly. Stick-and-move style. After a while she just sort of blurted out, "I had some tests and I may have cancer, I have to get biopsied next week."
Wow. remember all that stuff from that other post? I wavered on a few things. So that conversation lasted about 2.5 hours. The one the next day was more than an hour. As was the one the day after that. And the day after that. Then a few days after that, and about every two or three days there's been another fairly long conversation. And email.
You may not have noticed, but I'm not generally considered the most sensitive, compassionate guy. I could not imagine, and can barely believe, first that -I- got the phone call in this situation, and second, that I seem to have fielded it pretty well. I must have said "It will be ok," and "You'll be fine," and "You'll work it out" 300 times each. Beyond that, I was, and still am (though perhaps less so) comfortable with my conclusions from before. I feel a little bad about the "finding out she's a mess" bit, particularly because, at least for the first few days of crying, she was. I'm a little confused by the mixed messages; not that I've got expectations, but how much do you really want to hear about someone's sex life, relationships, relationship with ex-boyfriends, dating, co-workers, neighborhood, job, cats, mother, brother, etc. If I wanted all that I'd hang out at people's blogs. Even so, and despite myself, I care, so I'll quit whining and continue to take up the odd role of "shoulder to cry on."
... and I'm expecting a phone call...
posted by Galactichero at
4:20 PM
4 Comments:
Wow that's a hard shoulder to be.
And wow you're sensitive!
Oh and I don't like this pop-up comments thing.
By
PinkBunny, at 4/17/2006 09:26:00 PM
It's got its moments.
Don't ever say that again.
Good, it's staying.
By
Galactichero, at 4/18/2006 02:19:00 AM
The one that got away eh?
methinks mr. galactichero, that we have found your soft spot.
My mother had cancer... twice. Chemo makes them go crazy. They get depressed, think no one loves them - I thought it was just my mother until a friend of family who went through the same thing told me she'd experienced the same odd emotional outbursts.
Be strong for her, listen to her even if you don't want to, small things will count...
Cancer is a hard pill to swallow
By
Nic, at 4/18/2006 06:16:00 AM
I don't know for sure if you can say it got away. "Driven off" might be the better term. "In another pond" works too. Which leads to my second point: I have no soft spots. I am the rock my friends orbit around.
I think she thinks she's calling for me, and I think she think's I'm calling for me, but my perception is the other way around. Makes for some interesting conversations.
If there were a problem it would be not having the biopsy back yet. Not that I'm saying there's a problem. Cancer is not a hard pill. Cancer does not have any of the redeeming qualities a pill might have. Cancer just sucks.
I am completely asleep on my feet, and about to go into a 5 business day span where I cover 60 some cases and a two day jury trial. This is not good.
By
Galactichero, at 4/18/2006 12:55:00 PM
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