Galactichero vs the infant's intestinal virus
So, as strange as this may sound, I'm pretty good with kids. That's all I'm going to say about that.
There's this family that I have been more or less adopted by that has a 4.5 year old and a 2 year old (ages thereabouts), and the adults wanted to got to see a movie, so I was called in for babysitting duty. First, they warned me that the 2 year old had been having a nasty intestinal virus, and if he "pooped" (a word I would never use except in the context of infant fecal matter) I had to change it ASAP. Then, the 2 year old, who rarely if ever is without his mother freaked out, at least until I let him wail for a while. So we were playing with this .8 meter stuffed dog I got them, with beanbag type paws. I would grab the dog by the paws and say something like "You, you will not fight me!!" in the 70s style martial arts cheesiness voice, and they would come at him, and I would make him punch and kick and grab and roll around and pin them. Both of them thought this was great fun. Suddenly I noticed the 2 y/o running away with ... I hesitate to say "no shit" ... GREEN OOZE on his back when his shirt came up. Yeah. Green ooze. So I have to stop the games asap, and get this dealt with. So I enlist the 4 y/o to stay out of the way by finding another set of clothes and some wipes for the 2 y/o.
The 2 y/o, who doesn't pronounce my name with the right vowel, is just staring at me as I wipe the green ooze up (which took a loooooong time) saying my name over and over in this confused sort of way. I was telling him that I was no happier about it than he was, and both of us, after some therapy, would laugh about it one day. It was eeeeeverywhere. Finally, I got him cleaned up, and [shudder] desitined up, and I got myself scrubbed with antibacterial soap (4x). We went back to playing with the dog when I noticed the 4 y/o was gone, so I called for him. He was taking a crap. Then he ran back in the room with no pants on, and handed a friend of ours who had just arrived his dirty pants and underwear and told us he needed new pants. He got it EEEEEEEVERYWHERE. I had a 2 and a 5 y/o both saying "ohh the humanity" by the end of the evening. That was pretty funny.
Galactichero vs the infant's intestinal virus. A draw.
There's this family that I have been more or less adopted by that has a 4.5 year old and a 2 year old (ages thereabouts), and the adults wanted to got to see a movie, so I was called in for babysitting duty. First, they warned me that the 2 year old had been having a nasty intestinal virus, and if he "pooped" (a word I would never use except in the context of infant fecal matter) I had to change it ASAP. Then, the 2 year old, who rarely if ever is without his mother freaked out, at least until I let him wail for a while. So we were playing with this .8 meter stuffed dog I got them, with beanbag type paws. I would grab the dog by the paws and say something like "You, you will not fight me!!" in the 70s style martial arts cheesiness voice, and they would come at him, and I would make him punch and kick and grab and roll around and pin them. Both of them thought this was great fun. Suddenly I noticed the 2 y/o running away with ... I hesitate to say "no shit" ... GREEN OOZE on his back when his shirt came up. Yeah. Green ooze. So I have to stop the games asap, and get this dealt with. So I enlist the 4 y/o to stay out of the way by finding another set of clothes and some wipes for the 2 y/o.
The 2 y/o, who doesn't pronounce my name with the right vowel, is just staring at me as I wipe the green ooze up (which took a loooooong time) saying my name over and over in this confused sort of way. I was telling him that I was no happier about it than he was, and both of us, after some therapy, would laugh about it one day. It was eeeeeverywhere. Finally, I got him cleaned up, and [shudder] desitined up, and I got myself scrubbed with antibacterial soap (4x). We went back to playing with the dog when I noticed the 4 y/o was gone, so I called for him. He was taking a crap. Then he ran back in the room with no pants on, and handed a friend of ours who had just arrived his dirty pants and underwear and told us he needed new pants. He got it EEEEEEEVERYWHERE. I had a 2 and a 5 y/o both saying "ohh the humanity" by the end of the evening. That was pretty funny.
Galactichero vs the infant's intestinal virus. A draw.
posted by Galactichero at
7:56 PM
3 Comments:
shit's humbling.
will you babysit again?
By
Caro, at 7/18/2006 07:20:00 PM
Absolutely. If anything happened to my friend and/or his wife, I would raise these kids. The oldest kid's first phrase was involved my name, and his first coherent sentence was about me. I lived in their house for two years. I carry these kids around on my shoulders everywhere. These people are family.
Think happy days. I'm the Fonz.
By
Galactichero, at 7/18/2006 07:41:00 PM
green goo...
great description
By
Nic, at 7/26/2006 10:12:00 AM
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