... making an omelette

Saturday, May 27, 2006

How do I handle THIS fucking mess?

I've made reference to this on other blogs, but now I have nearly the full story so I can talk about it here.

I left my old job and started my new one. The day after leaving, I hung out with my former coworkers (the drinking had started early that day). I may explain some of the drunken craziness, but lets just say there was drunken craziness. Eventually, out of nowhere, one of my former coworkers started coming onto me -- HARD. I mean, introducing herself as my girlfriend, rubbing me, putting her head on my shoulder, etc. Finally she asked me to ask her out [now just to pause and editorialize, we WERE out. What was I going to do, ask her to leave so I could ask her to come back?]. Eventually, we got into another coworker's car to go to another bar, and while we were in the back seat together she put her head in my lap and again asked me to ask her out. I told her I didn't think it was a good idea for a number of reasons.

Now, let's be honest. I had a 100% chance of getting laid. Nic would have been all up in it if she were me. Everyone I know is giving me shit about this. I'm not hideous, but I don't date -- I have a lot of hangups, and I really don't have time for someone else's shit. This girl isn't hideous either, and she's pretty cool -- she likes sports, and doesn't take a lot of shit from people. She's low maintenance. There really isn't a reason not to ask her out, other than the fact that when we break up, I know a lot of the same people as her and historically this has always worked out badly for me because the partner always has better social skills than me, and I end up the bad guy. Frankly, my spider-sense was going off. We're not talking about my last day, we're talking about the day AFTER my last day. She wasn't drunk, but she wasn't stone-cold sober either. The situation was mostly out of control to begin with also. I figured something was missing from my picture there.

We've been emailing since then, pretty much daily. Nothing serious, just short back and forth crap, and she's still been hitting on me a bit. She also stayed at a friend's house nearby for a CLE and I don't even want to KNOW what went on there. A few days ago I got an email that explains a bit: She's been drinking a lot, and acting sort of funny because her father has terminal brain tumors, all conventional treatments have failed, and they're trying an experimental treatment. She has been having to deal with her mother a lot, and she doesn't get along with her mother, but she can't very well avoid her mother while her father is dying.

SOOOOO here we go again. Think about my friend with the dad who died. Think about prospective cancer girl. My roommate who lives with me because of his nasty divorce.
Basically my entire career. I am the rock my friends orbit around.

Now I have to figure out: "How do I handle THIS fucking mess?"

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